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Post by Jonus on Apr 21, 2006 14:23:58 GMT -5
So the last few years here I've been doing a lot of soul searching. You can ask Chu about it if you want an objective point of view. After serving in Iraq and witnessing death and bringing death I honestly thought I'd never be anything more than a monster. I couldn't take closing my eyes or lookin in a mirror for very long. I had nightmares whether I was awake or sleeping. The worst times were when I didn't know what was happening or thought I was still there and actually attacked people who were trying to take care of me. So after counseling and therapy I've come a long way. I even created a Post Tramautic Stress Disorder movie in Windows Movie Maker to help others deal with it and understand it. Pretty much, I feel like I've come a long way. So you are wondering what the whole point of this is. Well I received an email from an old friend who pretty much disowned me after I told them one or two experiences I had in Iraq because it was "too much to handle and know". This person is also majorly religous and kinda told me that I would have to WORK extremely hard to get God's forgiveness. I personally don't think that how it works. Yeah so in this email there is no apology there is only "do you think you are ok now?" I want to call this person (if I had their number) and scream. It doesn't have to be any kind of threat or word...just a scream like the ones I used to hear in my mind. I just hope that if anyone ever has a friend go through something horrible and wrong and has to things they might regret doing, that they won't be judged. I don't know if God see's it as me following orders or murdering people. I just know that no one, NOT anyone has the right to decide for him.
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Post by Mr. Sassy Pants on Apr 21, 2006 15:14:59 GMT -5
i hope your alright...? er...if theres anything we can do, let us know?
i dunno really how to respond to that, other than....hi!
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Post by The Fudge Dart on Apr 21, 2006 16:19:41 GMT -5
Whats important is how you see it
God understands
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Post by Caboose on Apr 21, 2006 16:33:10 GMT -5
Let's look at a passage from the Bible to see how God would act...
Acts 2:38
Peter replied, "Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.
Hope that helps....I for one am religious, and I believe that God will forgive you if you ask for forgiveness.
That and I'm really sorry to hear about what you've gone through. I had a cousin involved with the Iraq ordeal, and he was in the Navy. Lost him in 2002...Navy never did "release" what caused his death...anyways I feel bad for you...
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Post by Amy on Apr 21, 2006 19:15:32 GMT -5
if that person couldn't understand to begin with why you chose to do what you did...
they weren't your friend for disowning you. at least, not the kind of friend I'd like to have.
Amy
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Post by Kami on Apr 21, 2006 22:56:35 GMT -5
u alright man? i went thru some shit when i was little, wasnt pretty. I can understand where ur coming from. If u ever need someone to talk too ^_^
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Post by Chu-Chu on Apr 22, 2006 13:45:56 GMT -5
Jonus is mostly alright now. He was pretty messed up there for a while. Luckily I had an uncle that was in the Marines, a lifer, and had talked to him a lot about some of the stuff he went through, and delt with some of his stresses and reactions. My Uncle had actually hit me a few times, mostly just after waking up, or something. And he never realized he was doing it at the time. So, I was willing to take a few punches if it would help Jonus, luckily for me, he was too afraid of what he might do to attack much. He had more of an opposite reaction, and hid instead... Jonus is alright now though... He couldn't watch war/action movies for the longest time, and still shy's away from them, which is completely understandable, but I slowly worked him into playing games again. Halo 1&2, and into Counter Strike, and even into some RL military type games. He no longer see's them as real, and doesn't really have any flashbacks, and he can just play and shoot people as a game like the rest of us do, without feeling guilty or anything.
In short, Jonus has been through a lot, but with some soul searching and help from friends, and family, he's ready to take on the world again, and it's going to take a lot to bring him down.
~Chu
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Post by Jonus on Apr 22, 2006 15:23:11 GMT -5
You know you guys rock. I am doing alot better than I used to be. Things make alot more sense after therapy and such. The best thing any of you can do is be my friend!
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Post by B8 on Apr 22, 2006 17:20:54 GMT -5
You need help just ask and we will listen.
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Post by Moe on Apr 22, 2006 18:07:35 GMT -5
Hope your doing alright, and get yourself back on the path and all...adivces I would give you/or how I cope with my problems is:shove it somewhere and forget about it, if it's too emotional/stressful/just down-right-freaking-horrible I take any sort of book(could be the bible, in my case Quraan, could even be a story book anything works here)and I go out for a nice walk.
I don't belive in counseling/therapy that depend on other people to aid you, rather do it myself or freak it and shove the problem in a bottle.
-Best of luck with your problems/stress.
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Post by Kami on Apr 23, 2006 14:04:02 GMT -5
screw therapy, all they do is stuff u full of pills so fast.
just keep going the way ur going, u should be alright ^_^
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Post by Amy on Apr 24, 2006 8:55:02 GMT -5
My Uncle had actually hit me a few times, mostly just after waking up, or something. And he never realized he was doing it at the time. ~Chu ... god damn. I have just about the jumpiest reaction when I get up-- don't ask B8 how many times I actually connected with him BEFORE he learned to stand back when trying to get me up. Its a pain in the rear to explain to friends not to touch you to get you up cause you might injure them. Amy |
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Post by Chu-Chu on Apr 24, 2006 12:44:36 GMT -5
The hard part is realizing when they're 'asleep' while awake... My uncle kind've blacked out a few times, where he just dissappeared in his head almost... All the sudden he didn't realize he wasn't in combat, so he'd have simi-violent reactions... Playing pool with him once in my grandpa's basement, and we were laughing and having a good time, and he walked over, and took a drink out of his glass of water, then just stood there, as if thinking... I shot, came to be his turn, and since I was standing next to him, I just reached out and tapped him on the back of the shoulder with my hand and said "hey, it's..." and about then he came over his head with a full swing of his pool cue at me... Almost caught me in the side of the head, managed to duck though, and he bent an aluminum pool cue to about 45 degrees, and put a hole in the wall a foot away... scary times... So, I've gotten good at noticing when people zone out, and making sure to keep my distance when checking to see if they are in the current reality... Jonus has only hit me a few times, but they were mostly glancing hits... Haven't seen him lash out in a long time... been over a year I'd say...
~Chu
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Post by Schweppes7T4 on Apr 24, 2006 13:31:28 GMT -5
since i have no idea how to quote...
kami, therapists don't necissarily pump you full of pills. there's two types, psychiatrists, and psychologists. psychiatrists are medical, and are the ones that give you meds. psychologists are the actual therapy ones, they can't give pills.
i know this because my two friends are one of each. anyways...
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Post by Chu-Chu on Apr 24, 2006 13:37:36 GMT -5
To quote: Go to the post you want to quote from. Notice on the upper right hand corner of the post there is a button that says " quote next to it.. When you click this button you will get something like the following. (note, spaces have been entered in order to make this show code, not acutally quote.) [ quote author=schweppes7t4 board=politics thread=1145647438 post=1145903488]since i have no idea how to quote... kami, therapists don't necissarily pump you full of pills. there's two types, psychiatrists, and psychologists. psychiatrists are medical, and are the ones that give you meds. psychologists are the actual therapy ones, they can't give pills. i know this because my two friends are one of each. anyways... [ /quote] If you only want a portion of this post quoted, simply look between the brackets and you can see the text. Note: the brackets you want are AFTER the: [ quote author=schweppes7t4 board=politics thread=1145647438 post=1145903488] but before the: [ /quote] Once you cut out the text you don't want, simply type your message after/before the quote tags. Which are the brackets that are before and after the quoted text. Thus, you can take: since i have no idea how to quote... kami, therapists don't necissarily pump you full of pills. there's two types, psychiatrists, and psychologists. psychiatrists are medical, and are the ones that give you meds. psychologists are the actual therapy ones, they can't give pills. i know this because my two friends are one of each. anyways... and by deleteing text, make it since i have no idea how to quote... quote post would look like this... [ quote author=schweppes7t4 board=politics thread=1145647438 post=1145903488]since i have no idea how to quote...[ /quote] Hope this helps Schweppes. ~Chu |
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