Tech Support {Joke}

[Late_night_Legend]

For a computer programming class, I sat directly across from someone, and our computers were facing away from each other. A few minutes into the class, she got up to leave the room. I reached between our computers and switched the inputs for the keyboards. She came back and started typing and immediately got a distressed look on her Face. She called the teacher over and explained that no matter what she typed, nothing would happen. The teacher tried everything. By this time I was hiding behind my monitor and quaking red-faced. I started to type, "Leave me alone!" They both jumped back, silenced. "What the . . . " the teacher said. I typed, "I saidleave me alone!" The kid got real upset. "I didn't do anything to it, I swear!" It was all I could do to keep from laughing out loud. The conversation between them and HAL 2000 went on for an amazing five minutes. Me: "Don't touch me!" Her: "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hit your keys that hard." Me: "Who do you think you are anyway?!" Etc. Finally, I couldn't contain myself any longer and fell out of my chair laughing. After they had realized what I had done, they both turned beet red. Funny, I never got more than a C- in that class.

Customer: "Your sound card is defective and I want a new one." Tech Support: "What seems to be the problem?" Customer: "The balance is backwards. The left channel is coming out Of the right speaker and the right channel is coming out the left. It's defective." Tech Support: "You can solve the problem by moving the left speaker to the right side of the machine and vice versa." Customer: (sputter) (click) Tech Support: (snicker)


This guy calls in to complain that he gets an "Access Denied" message every time he logs in. It turned out he was typing his user name and password in capital letters.
Tech Support: "OK, let's try once more, but use lower case letters." Customer: "Uh, I only have capital letters on my keyboard." A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. The tech asked her if she was "running it under Windows." The woman then responded, "No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his is working fine."


Tech Support: "How much free space do you have on your hard drive?" Customer: "Well, my wife likes to get up there on that Internet, and she downloaded ten hours of free space. Is that enough?"


Tech Support: "Ok Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager." Customer: "I don't have a 'P'." Tech Support: "On your keyboard, Bob." Customer: "What do you mean?" Tech Support: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob." Customer: "I'm not going to do that!"


Overheard in a computer shop: Customer: "I'd like a mouse mat, please." Salesperson: "Certainly sir, we've got a large variety." Customer: "But will they be compatible with my computer?"


I once received a fax with a note on the bottom to fax the document back to the sender when I was finished with it, because he needed to keep it.


Customer: "Can you copy the Internet for me on this diskette?"


I work for a local ISP. Frequently we receive phone calls that go something like this: Customer: "Hi. Is this the Internet?"


Some people pay for their on-line services with checks made payable to "The Internet."


Customer: "So that'll get me connected to the Internet, right?" Tech Support: "Yeah." Customer: "And that's the latest version of the Internet, right?" Tech Support: "Uhh...uh...uh...yeah."


Tech Support: "All right...now double-click on the File Manager icon." Customer: "That's why I hate this Windows -- because of the icons -- I'm a Protestant, and I don't believe in icons." Tech Support: "Well, that's just an industry term sir. I don't believe it was meant to -- "Customer: "I don't care about any 'Industry Terms'. I don't believe in icons." Tech Support: "Well...why don't you click on the 'little picture' of a file cabinet...is 'little picture' ok?" Customer: [click]


Customer: "My computer crashed!" Tech Support: "It crashed?" Customer: "Yeah, it won't let me play my game." Tech Support: "All right, hit Control-Alt-Delete to reboot." Customer: "No, it didn't crash -- it crashed." Tech Support: "Huh?" Customer: "I crashed my game. That's what I said before. Now it doesn't work." Turned out, the user was playing Lunar Lander and crashed his spaceship. Tech Support: "Click on 'File,' then 'New Game.'" Customer: [pause] "Wow! How'd you learn how to do that?"

[Legendary_Apu]

damn man this joke is funny

[Canadian Nose]

"I use the google"- George W Bush

[Legendary_Apu]

* Nose did you heard this one before




George W. Bush was giving a third-grader a lesson on politics. First he asked the kid to write "The President" on the blackboard.
Then Bush asked the child what he thought the President should accomplish and the child replied, "Protect the environment and clean up the air."

Dubya countered, "Why should the clouds be white and the water be blue when they could be all kinds of cool colors? Is that so terrible. Can't we agree on it? Can you spell "Is" and "We"?

The boy spells out "Is" then "We" on the blackboard.

"My friends at the oil companies can make chemicals to make trees tall. If fact, they already did. Can you write, "tall" and "did"?

The boy writes the words on the blackboard.

"Now young man, what have you learned from your talk with the President?"

The boys stands up and reads what he has written on the blackboard aloud: "The President is we tall did."

[The Black Dart]

i'm sorry but i have to...

I am
Sofa King
We Todd Ed.



ATHF Forever.

[Canadian Nose]

Hehe.

[Late_night_Legend]

When Suzy decided to improve her computer skills, she threw herself into it with enthusiasm. Every week she'd check out two or three instructional books from the library.

After about a month, the librarian commented, "Wow! You must really be getting knowledgeable at this stuff."

"Thanks," Suzy said. "What makes you say that?"

The librarian answered, "Only one of the books you're checking out this week has 'For Dummies' in the title."

[Late_night_Legend]

Hey legend_camper (hrishi) do u remember any of those jokes from mr. kelly's trouble shooting class that he use to tell us so we wouldn't get mad at anyone when we went there to troubleshoot their computer.

those were funny. lol.