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Post by TEX on Jul 18, 2006 1:45:29 GMT -5
most of those we heard in class caboose and legend
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Post by aceofspades on Jul 19, 2006 13:40:34 GMT -5
its sad that some are true stories
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Post by UrbStylee on Jul 19, 2006 16:52:06 GMT -5
As we all laugh at this stuff, I have to be thankful that all these stupid people = job security for us... Either that or a superiority complex. Ha!
Urb
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Post by TEX on Jul 20, 2006 3:31:42 GMT -5
no, the creator of : sim city, sim city 2, sim city 3, sim city 2000, sim city 4, sim city gold, sim isle, sim earth, sim ant, sim copter, the sims, the sims busten out, the sims: open for business, the sims 2, any other 'sim' games I missed, has a superiority complex.
Whats that company called, oh yeah, Maxis
Spore's gonna be awesome
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Post by Caboose on Jul 20, 2006 15:30:35 GMT -5
Well, I've got more funny for you guys!
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Trying to ask how to remove a screen saver:
Customer: "I just go to My Computer and delete everything, right?"
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Customer: "There are smoke and flames coming from my computer."
Tech Support: "Uh, hang up, unplug the computer from the wall, and call the local fire department."
Customer: "That's not the problem. I need to know how to do a backup. Fastest possible method."
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I work at an ISP in the United Kingdom. The most shocking call I received came from a student at a local college here. He had received a CD for an ISP from an American friend.
Customer: "Hi there. I got this CD from an American, and he says that his ISP is better than mine because the calls are free. So can I install it?"
Me: "Yes sir, that's your choice completely. But is this an American ISP? Because if so, I don't think it will work with your computer."
Customer: "Listen, I happen to be a computer student. I know exactly what I'm doing, so don't insult my intelligence!" (click)
Ten minutes later, he called back, humbled.
Customer: "My computer exploded."
Me: "What!? How did that happen?"
Customer: "Well, the CD didn't work. I couldn't get through to the ISP. So, I changed the computer to American power."
He'd changed the voltage switch while the computer was on, causing the power supply to explode.
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Tech Support: "Hello, tech support, can I help you?"
Customer: (slowly) "Oohh." (pause) "I think I did a bad thing."
Tech Support: "Ok, so tell me what's up."
Customer: "Well, my computer was running great. Everything was working fine, I had no problems whatsoever."
Tech Support: "Ok..."
Customer: "So I decided to open it up and have a look inside. I saw all these wires dangling all over the place. There were grey flat ones, and small red, black, and yellow ones, and it seemed like they weren't connected to anything. So I decided to plug them all in."
Tech Support: "Um, you mean you plugged them all in? What did you plug them into?"
Customer: "Well, whatever I could get them to connect to. I saw pins sticking off of some of the boards that didn't have anything on them, so I plugged all the loose wires in to make it run better."
Tech Support: "And then you..."
Customer: "And so I plugged them all in, and I hit the power button, and there was this loud bang and a flash and a puff of smoke. Now it doesn't work at all."
Tech Support: (suppressing all emotion and turning deep crimson) "Can you hold for a minute, please?"
Kaboom! "Explosive" doesn't adequately describe the laughter. I related the story to some co-workers between gasps for breath. Several of the techs and I had quite the laugh fest while he was on hold. After about five minutes of eye-popping, sweat-beading laughter, I wiped away the tears, took a sip of water, and came back on the line. I knew it'd be futile to even attempt to troubleshoot it.
Tech Support: "Ok, well why don't we just have you wrap it up in the original packing material and send it back to us, we'll take care of the whole thing."
And so another computer newbie learned that the extra power supply cables and unused IDE ribbon cables don't have to be plugged in for the computer to work just fine.
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Customer: "Do I need a computer to use your software?"
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Husband: "Hi. I'm having a problem connecting to the Internet."
Tech Support: "Ok sir, what operating system are you using?"
Husband: "Oh...I'm really not sure...I'm not the computer expert. My wife is. She's sitting at the computer. I'm going to dictate this to her." (pause) "She says we use Windows 95."
Tech Support: "Ok. What exactly is the problem?"
Husband: "I can't connect."
Wife: (in the background) "We can't even get on -- the software is buggy!"
Tech Support: "Ok, what happens when you try to connect?"
Husband: "Ok, the Connect To: screen pops up, and it asks for my password."
Tech Support: "Did you put your password in?"
Husband: "Yes, and it keeps asking for it afterwards."
Tech Support: "Do you have your caps lock key on?"
Husband: "Yes, but that shouldn't make any difference."
Tech Support: "Uhm...go ahead and hit the caps lock key until the light goes away."
Husband: "Are you sure? We've always got on with the caps lock key on."
Tech Support: "Yes, I'm sure."
Husband: "Oh, ok. It took my password."
Wife: (in the background) "I told you!" (They start arguing. She takes the phone from him.) "HELLO?"
Tech Support: "Yes, hello, you should be all set from here."
Wife: "YES HI, I'VE BEEN USING YOUR DAMN SOFTWARE FOR I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW LONG, AND I STILL CAN'T GET EMAIL FROM MY SON IN THE NAVY!"
Tech Support: "What program do you use for email, ma'am?"
Wife: "I use Windows 95! We already told you that!"
Husband: (in the background) "We already told her that, didn't we?"
Tech Support: "No, what mail application...such as Eudora, Netscape, Internet Explorer..."
Wife: "Microsoft Netscape."
Tech Support: "Netscape?"
Wife: "Yes, Microsoft Netscape."
Tech Support: "Ok, open that up and go to Options, and then Mail and News Preferences--"
Wife: "No, I want email! I don't want to surf the net!"
Tech Support: "Netscape comes with an email program, and we're going to set it up now."
Wife: "Ugh. Fine. Whatever. We'll do it YOUR way."
Tech Support: "Ok." (explains how to set up popmail)
Wife: "I'm not getting mail."
Tech Support: "Do you have two phone lines?"
Suddenly I hear the modem attempting to dial in.
Tech Support: (over the roar of the modem) "MA'AM? YOU ONLY HAVE ONE PHONE LINE. DON'T TRY TO DIAL IN."
(beep click click)
Tech Support: "You can't dial up with this line. It's already in use."
Wife: "I was always able to use it before YOU changed my settings!"
Tech Support: "No, you will just have to disconn--"
Wife: "You tech support people always mess up my settings, and then I have to bring my computer back to [retailer] to get it fixed! You know, you cost me so much money!"
Tech Support: "Ma'am, I didn't change any of your Internet settings."
Wife: "Yes you did, we just went through a NUMBER of things."
Tech Support: "All we did was--"
Wife: "I've had ENOUGH of your service. I'm going back to AOL." (click)
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Post by TEX on Jul 22, 2006 4:23:47 GMT -5
I hate thriving on others stupidity, but I guess other great leaders did as well
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Post by aceofspades on Jul 24, 2006 21:48:19 GMT -5
ok why did the tech support person cross the road?
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Post by Legendary_Apu on Jul 24, 2006 23:50:07 GMT -5
lol
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Post by aceofspades on Jul 25, 2006 21:06:40 GMT -5
i know im pretty funny aint I. hows that for grammer  |
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Post by TEX on Jul 30, 2006 4:45:38 GMT -5
NO WAI!! a tech support leaving his house!!!
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Post by Chu-Chu on Jul 31, 2006 9:13:16 GMT -5
I hate you tex
~Chu
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Post by Late_night_Legend on Aug 9, 2006 16:04:23 GMT -5
yo u're jokes r crazy as hell i heard some of those from Mr. Kelly from Truman.
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Post by Legendary_Apu on Aug 9, 2006 21:07:26 GMT -5
ya Mr.kelly from Truman tell some cool jokes sometime
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Post by Late_night_Legend on Oct 31, 2006 1:36:09 GMT -5
• "How much do Windows cost, and do you have to buy each one separately?"
• Customer: "How much do Windows cost?"
Tech Support: "Windows costs about $100."
Customer: "Oh, that's kind of expensive. Can I buy just one window?"
• Tech Support: "Do you have any windows open right now?"
Customer: "Are you crazy woman, it's twenty below outside..."
• "I try to avoid using Microsoft. That's why I use MS-DOS."
• Tech Support: "How can I help you?"
Customer: "Well, everything is working fine, but there is one program that is not."
Tech Support: "What program is it?"
Customer: "It's called 'MSDOS Prompt'."
Tech Support: "What's wrong with it?"
Customer: "Well, I click on it, a black screen shows up with NOTHING but a sign that reads: 'C:\WINDOWS>', and it just sits there and doesn't do anything. I have to turn off the system to go back to Windows."
• Customer: "File manager? What's that?"
Tech Support: "How long have you had your computer?"
Customer: "Three years."
• "I have a 386 Pentium."
• "My brother has a 486 with a Pentium chip in it."
• Customer: "The computer told me it had contagious memory. Does it have a virus?"
Tech Support: "No, that is 'contiguous' memory, as in 'sequential'."
Customer: "That is impossible, it said 'contagious'."
Tech Support: "Type 'mem' and hit the 'enter' key." Customer: "Oh."
• "My computer's telling me I performed an illegal abortion."
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Post by Late_night_Legend on Oct 31, 2006 1:38:44 GMT -5
This is kind of funny tech joke too
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