Post by B8 on Sept 4, 2007 8:01:10 GMT -5
Subject: Bears VS Packers
Once upon a time long, long, ago there was a season when neither the
Packers nor the Bears made the post season playoffs. It seemed so
unusual, that the management of both teams got together and decided
that there should be some sort of competition between the two teams
because of their great rivalry.
So, they decided on a week long ice fishing competition. The team that
catches the most fish at the end of the week wins.
So on a cold northern Wisconsin lake they began their contest.
The first day after 8 hours of fishing the Packers had caught 100 fish
and the Bears had 0.
At the end of the 2nd day the Packers had caught 200 fish and the
Bears 0.
That evening the Bears coach got his team together and said, "I
suspect some kind of cheating is taking place", So the next morning he
dressed one of his players in green and gold and sent him over to the
Packer camp to act as a spy
At the end of the day he came back to report to the coach. The coach
asked "Well, how about it, are they cheating?"
"They sure are," the player reported, "They're cutting holes in the ice".
Subject: The Workers
THE WORKERS
The population of this country is 300 million.
160 million are retired.
That leaves 140 million to do the work.
There are 85 million in school.
Which leaves 55 million to do the work.
Of this there are 35 million employed by the federal government.
Leaving 15 million to do the work.
2.8 million are in the armed forces preoccupied with killing Osama
Bin-Laden.
Which leaves 12.2 million to do the work.
Take from that total the 10.8 million people who work for state and city
Governments. And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.
At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals.
Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.
Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.
That leaves just two people to do the work.
You and me.
And there you are,
Sitting on your ass,
At your computer, reading jokes.
Nice. Real nice
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken woman swigging her drink, as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asks, "Do you know her?"
"Yes," I sighed. "She's my old girlfriend. I understand she started drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since."
"My God!" says my wife. "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"
So you see, there really are two ways to look at everything...
The End
You have reached the end of the Internet.
We hope you have enjoyed your experience.
Now go outside and play.
© 2006 Bill Weinman
Once upon a time long, long, ago there was a season when neither the
Packers nor the Bears made the post season playoffs. It seemed so
unusual, that the management of both teams got together and decided
that there should be some sort of competition between the two teams
because of their great rivalry.
So, they decided on a week long ice fishing competition. The team that
catches the most fish at the end of the week wins.
So on a cold northern Wisconsin lake they began their contest.
The first day after 8 hours of fishing the Packers had caught 100 fish
and the Bears had 0.
At the end of the 2nd day the Packers had caught 200 fish and the
Bears 0.
That evening the Bears coach got his team together and said, "I
suspect some kind of cheating is taking place", So the next morning he
dressed one of his players in green and gold and sent him over to the
Packer camp to act as a spy
At the end of the day he came back to report to the coach. The coach
asked "Well, how about it, are they cheating?"
"They sure are," the player reported, "They're cutting holes in the ice".
Subject: The Workers
THE WORKERS
The population of this country is 300 million.
160 million are retired.
That leaves 140 million to do the work.
There are 85 million in school.
Which leaves 55 million to do the work.
Of this there are 35 million employed by the federal government.
Leaving 15 million to do the work.
2.8 million are in the armed forces preoccupied with killing Osama
Bin-Laden.
Which leaves 12.2 million to do the work.
Take from that total the 10.8 million people who work for state and city
Governments. And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.
At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals.
Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.
Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.
That leaves just two people to do the work.
You and me.
And there you are,
Sitting on your ass,
At your computer, reading jokes.
Nice. Real nice
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken woman swigging her drink, as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asks, "Do you know her?"
"Yes," I sighed. "She's my old girlfriend. I understand she started drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since."
"My God!" says my wife. "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"
So you see, there really are two ways to look at everything...
The End
You have reached the end of the Internet.
We hope you have enjoyed your experience.
Now go outside and play.
© 2006 Bill Weinman