Post by B8 on Jan 16, 2007 19:30:37 GMT -5
Justa few tips on surviving.
No matter how cold you are, DO NOT attempt to build a fire in a kayak! You can't have your kayak and heat it too.
Before you criticize someone in the Arctic, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them and they get mad, you're a mile away across the ice - and they've got no mukluks!
Shine a flashlight into one ear. If the beam shines out the other ear - do not venture outside alone!
One hour shoveling snow equals two hours on the Buttmaster.
Arctic medical tip: If you're isolated in the Arctic and you have a bad toothache - just hit your thumb with a hammer. You'll forget all about the toothache.
When it's tourist season, that doesn't mean that you can shoot them!
You've heard of "bear bells"? First of all, they DON'T go on the bear. Secondly, for a polar bear, they mean "lunch is over here!"
Never spit when you're facing a cold Arctic wind - you could take your eye out!
If you haven't had any mail for weeks, just remember... there ARE some things that can keep the mailman from his appointed rounds.
Sometimes ice crystals in the atmosphere make things appear differently than they actually are. This is not an optical illusion - it just looks like one.
Due to isolated locations, the cost of living in the Arctic can be very high. However, the cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
Snowblowers should not be used to make sno-cones, slurpies or cole slaw.
If you wake up breathing, congratulations - you didn't freeze to death! You get another chance - PLAY ON!
Jc
No matter how cold you are, DO NOT attempt to build a fire in a kayak! You can't have your kayak and heat it too.
Before you criticize someone in the Arctic, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them and they get mad, you're a mile away across the ice - and they've got no mukluks!
Shine a flashlight into one ear. If the beam shines out the other ear - do not venture outside alone!
One hour shoveling snow equals two hours on the Buttmaster.
Arctic medical tip: If you're isolated in the Arctic and you have a bad toothache - just hit your thumb with a hammer. You'll forget all about the toothache.
When it's tourist season, that doesn't mean that you can shoot them!
You've heard of "bear bells"? First of all, they DON'T go on the bear. Secondly, for a polar bear, they mean "lunch is over here!"
Never spit when you're facing a cold Arctic wind - you could take your eye out!
If you haven't had any mail for weeks, just remember... there ARE some things that can keep the mailman from his appointed rounds.
Sometimes ice crystals in the atmosphere make things appear differently than they actually are. This is not an optical illusion - it just looks like one.
Due to isolated locations, the cost of living in the Arctic can be very high. However, the cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
Snowblowers should not be used to make sno-cones, slurpies or cole slaw.
If you wake up breathing, congratulations - you didn't freeze to death! You get another chance - PLAY ON!
Jc