Post by B8 on Dec 13, 2006 14:59:15 GMT -5
I've highlighted the ones I think are best. (Comment by JC)
God Made Us Sisters, Prozac Made Us Friends
My Mother Is a Travel Agent for Guilt Trips
Senior Citizen: Give Me My Damn Discount
(Spotted on a passing motorcycle) If You Can Read This, My Wife Fell Off
I Used to Be Schizophrenic, but We're OK Now
Veni, Vedi, Visa: I Came, I Saw, I Did a Little Shopping
What If the Hokey Pokey Is Really What It's All About?
Coffee, Chocolate, Men; Some Things Are Just Better Rich
Liberal Arts Major. Will Think for Food
Don't Treat Me Any Differently Than You Would the Queen
Gravity; It's Not Just a Good Idea, It's the Law
If You Want Breakfast in Bed, Sleep in the Kitchen
First National Bank of Dad; Sorry, Closed
In Dog Years, I'm Dead
Love May Be Blind, But Marriage Is a Real Eye Opener
If at First You Don't Succeed, Skydiving Isn't for You
The Trouble With the Gene Pool Is That There's No Lifeguard
Get a New Car for Your Spouse. It'll Be a Great Trade
Wanted: Meaningful Overnight Relationship
I'm Going to Graduate on Time, No Matter How Long It Takes
Anything Not Worth Doing Is Not Worth Doing Well
A Day Without Sunshine is Like Night
First Things First, but Not Necessarily in That Order
Old Age Comes at a Bad Time
Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
You're just jealous because the voices only talk to ME.
So you're a feminist. Isn't that cute.
The more you complain, the longer God makes you live.
I(nternal) R(evenue) S(ervice): We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
Hang up and drive.
God must love stupid people, He made SO many.
Your kid may be an Honor Student, but YOU'RE still an idiot.
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
Taxation WITH representation isn't so hot, either!
Who were the testers for Preparations A through G?
Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
5 days a week my body is a temple. The other two, it's an amusement park.
EARTH FIRST! We'll strip-mine the other planets later.
If you drink, don't park. Accidents cause people.
If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you.
Save the whales! Trade them for valuable prizes.
My wife keeps complaining I never listen to her ... or something like that.
Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive.
Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them!
And one just for you...
I got a gun for my wife, best trade I ever made.
Jc
God Made Us Sisters, Prozac Made Us Friends
My Mother Is a Travel Agent for Guilt Trips
Senior Citizen: Give Me My Damn Discount
(Spotted on a passing motorcycle) If You Can Read This, My Wife Fell Off
I Used to Be Schizophrenic, but We're OK Now
Veni, Vedi, Visa: I Came, I Saw, I Did a Little Shopping
What If the Hokey Pokey Is Really What It's All About?
Coffee, Chocolate, Men; Some Things Are Just Better Rich
Liberal Arts Major. Will Think for Food
Don't Treat Me Any Differently Than You Would the Queen
Gravity; It's Not Just a Good Idea, It's the Law
If You Want Breakfast in Bed, Sleep in the Kitchen
First National Bank of Dad; Sorry, Closed
In Dog Years, I'm Dead
Love May Be Blind, But Marriage Is a Real Eye Opener
If at First You Don't Succeed, Skydiving Isn't for You
The Trouble With the Gene Pool Is That There's No Lifeguard
Get a New Car for Your Spouse. It'll Be a Great Trade
Wanted: Meaningful Overnight Relationship
I'm Going to Graduate on Time, No Matter How Long It Takes
Anything Not Worth Doing Is Not Worth Doing Well
A Day Without Sunshine is Like Night
First Things First, but Not Necessarily in That Order
Old Age Comes at a Bad Time
Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
You're just jealous because the voices only talk to ME.
So you're a feminist. Isn't that cute.
The more you complain, the longer God makes you live.
I(nternal) R(evenue) S(ervice): We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
Hang up and drive.
God must love stupid people, He made SO many.
Your kid may be an Honor Student, but YOU'RE still an idiot.
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
Taxation WITH representation isn't so hot, either!
Who were the testers for Preparations A through G?
Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
5 days a week my body is a temple. The other two, it's an amusement park.
EARTH FIRST! We'll strip-mine the other planets later.
If you drink, don't park. Accidents cause people.
If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you.
Save the whales! Trade them for valuable prizes.
My wife keeps complaining I never listen to her ... or something like that.
Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive.
Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them!
And one just for you...
I got a gun for my wife, best trade I ever made.
Jc
