Sorry for the length, but I like this joke.
One night a young man is driving down an old road out in the hills somewhere, when his car breaks down. Luckly for him he managed to break down in front of a large mansion. Seemingly abandoned except for one light burning in the front corner window. Seeing a storm blowing in the man decides his best bet it to run back up the road a bit and see if anyone is home and if he can use their phone to call for help.
Upon reaching the house he pulls on a chain that sets off a series of bells, a minute later he hears the clasp on the door release and an old, weathered chineese man answer the door. "Excuse me" the young man says, "but my car has broken down, and I was wondering if I could use your phone and wait here for someone to come get me?"
"Oh, sure, sure." Replies the old man, and lets him in. The old man takes him to his phone and lets him use it to call for help. Part way through the call the line suddenly goes dead, and no dial tone can be re-established. "That happens when storms come up." Says the old man. The lines will work again when the storm blows over. You can stay here for the night if you like. I only ask one thing of you."
"Thank you." Says the young man. "Anything."
"I want to show you what a lonely old man such as me does for a living. I work with animals." He says. "I want to show you my most prized animal."
"Okay. I'd love to." Replies the young man. Not too eager to meet this, probably old, animal, but is willing ot be nice.
"Follow me." Says the old man. He walks him to the inner most room of the house, and upon the far wall removes a large ring of keys from the wall, and unlocks a door the young man hadn't even seen. "Come, Come!" Says the old men. He leads the young man down a flight of stairs, unlocks a second door, then down another flight of stairs, unlocking a third door, then down a long, dimly lit hall, to unlock a fourth door, down yet another flight of stairs to unlock a fifth door, and down a short hallway where he unlocks a sixth door. Before opening the door the old man turns and says "This is my most prized posession. Please, do not pet the animal, he doesn't usually like strangers. It's for your own safety." The young man nods in agreement, as the old man pushes open the final door.
The young man is shocked by what he sees. On the other side of the door is a LARGE well lit room with metal bars stretching the entire height of the room. On the other side of the bars sat a 50 foot purple Gorilla! The young man stood there shocked by what he was seeing. The gorilla simply sat there, eyes closed, seemingly sleeping. Not really moving, just looked like it was breathing slowly. After a few minutes the old man pushes the young man out and back to the house, locking all the doors behind him.
The old man feeds the young man dinner and they have nice converstation and the old man finally goes to bed around midnight leaving the young man in a small guest room on the first floor. After laying away for several hours the young man just can't take it any more. That Gorilla never moved but to breath, it CAN'T be real! He's gotta go check. Just has to! So the young man sneaks out of bed and into the room with the key chain. He unlocks the doors and goes down to the gorilla. Sure enough, there sits the 50 foot gorilla, just as he saw it before, barely moving. Slowly he creeps forward, and reaches his hand through the bars, watching the gorilla for movement.... nothing... slowly he reaches all the way up to his shoulder and lightly taps the gorilla on the arm.
The young man leaps back as if bit, staring at the gorilla. Slowly the gorilla's eyes open, and squint down at the young man. The gorilla stands up on all fours, now towering nearly 75 feet, and then it lowers its head to be closer to the young man. It's eyes squint even more. Suddenly the Gorilla bares its teeth and lets out a deep howl, and throws itself at the cage bars. The young man looses it and takes off running, he shuts the first door, locks it, and sprints up the stairs, hearing the gorilla throwing itself against the bars. He closes and locks the next door, and hears the bars of the cage ricochett off the walls, seconds later he hears the gorilla slam against the first door. He sprints his way out, locking each door behind him, hearing the gorilla slowly smash its way through the doors and out after him.
Upon locking the final door the young man throws the keys across the room and sprints out the front door and straight for his car. Relentlessly he tries to start it, trying to coax his car into starting to take him away from this place. After a minute the Gorilla slams it's way out the front door of the house, and hearing the starter of the mans car focuses directly on the man and starts running. Amazingly the car starts, as the young man slams it into gear and steps on the gas. The Gorilla reaches out with one hand, grabs the top of the car, and rips the roof right off, as the young man screams out of range. He crests a hill, leaving the gorilla behind.
The young man breathes a sigh of relief as he is cruizing down the hill, without his rear view mirror he doesn't notice the gorilla gaining on him. Suddenly the gorilla reaches out and rips the passenger door clean off the car, then slams it's fist down into the trunk, stopping the car dead in the road. The gorilla is now towering of the young man whom is stuck in his shreaded and smashed car. The man can see his life flashing before his eyes, and this monsterous purple gorilla bends over, barring its teeth, growling at the man. It reaches it's massive hand out....
And simply taps the guy on the side of the head. The purple gorilla then says "You're it." and runs off back to the mansion.
~Chu
ANIMAL CRUELTY!
