A lie is a lie...unless your friends and family are in on it. Then it's a "commonly held belief." or so Amy says. "I know nothing. I understand nothing. I am nothing" An old Russian proverb still useful today. Ya ney znayou nechevo. Ya ney ponemayou nechevo. Ya nechevo
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Warning reading my posts IS hazardous to your mental health.
Joined: May 2005 Gender: Male Posts: 4,840 Location: Chicago area
Tool definitions « Result #2 on Nov 11, 2009, 7:16am »
DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it.
WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, 'Oh sh --'
SKILL SAW: A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short.
PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters.
BELT SANDER: An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.
HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.
VISE-GRIPS: Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.
OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your shop on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub out of which you want to remove a bearing race.
TABLE SAW: A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity.
HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new brake shoes, trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper.
BAND SAW: A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to cut good aluminum sheet into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the trash can after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside edge.
TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST: A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of everything you forgot to disconnect.
PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads.
STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER: A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws and butchering your palms.
PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.
HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to make hoses too short.
HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent the object we are trying to hit.
UTILITY KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use.
Son of a bitchTOOL: Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling 'Son of a bitch' at the top of your lungs. It is also, most often, the next tool that you will need.
A lie is a lie...unless your friends and family are in on it. Then it's a "commonly held belief." or so Amy says. "I know nothing. I understand nothing. I am nothing" An old Russian proverb still useful today. Ya ney znayou nechevo. Ya ney ponemayou nechevo. Ya nechevo
The worlds oldest forums troll.
Margaritas ante porcos A bene placito Absit invidia
Joined: Nov 2005 Gender: Male Posts: 275 Location: MISSOURI
Re: C.O.D. « Result #5 on Sept 24, 2009, 10:08pm »
I have recently given up WoW, destroyed my gear, deleted my characters and canceled my account in an effort to go back.
I was actually looking into COD4 and would buying it and hanging out with anyone that transfers, however, I would like to leave this up to fudge. We haven't always seen eye to eye but I am willing to put the past behind me if you are. So.... lemme know, either way (and if you want me to switch get me some server info )
on a completely unrelated subject... 60000 character limit... someone writing a book in the forums?
Warning reading my posts IS hazardous to your mental health.
Joined: May 2005 Gender: Male Posts: 4,840 Location: Chicago area
Old dogs « Result #6 on Sept 22, 2009, 1:48pm »
One day the old German Shepherd starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a panther heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.
The old German Shepherd thinks, 'Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!' Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the panther is about to leap, the old German Shepherd exclaims loudly, 'Boy, that was one delicious panther! I wonder, if there are any more around here?'
Hearing this, the young panther halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees.. 'Whew!' says the panther, 'That was close! That old German Shepherd nearly had me!'
Me anwhile, a squirrel who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the panther. So, off he goes, but the old German Shepherd sees him heading after the panther with great speed, and figures that something must be up.
The squirrel soon catches up with the panther, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the panther.
The young panther is furious at being made a fool of and says, 'Here, squirrel, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!'
Now, the old German Shepherd sees the panther coming with the squirrel on his back and thinks, 'What am I going to do now?', but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old German Shepherd says... 'Where's that squirrel? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another panther!'
Moral of this story...
Don't mess with the old dogs...age and skill will always overcome youth and treachery! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.
A lie is a lie...unless your friends and family are in on it. Then it's a "commonly held belief." or so Amy says. "I know nothing. I understand nothing. I am nothing" An old Russian proverb still useful today. Ya ney znayou nechevo. Ya ney ponemayou nechevo. Ya nechevo
The worlds oldest forums troll.
Margaritas ante porcos A bene placito Absit invidia
The Fudge Dart AC Members Your Damn Right member is offline
**~~MARRIED~~**
Joined: Oct 2005 Gender: Male Posts: 523
Re: C.O.D. « Result #7 on Sept 17, 2009, 2:02pm »
Ok I have talked to some people and they agree COD-4 is the shit!!! I will set up a server and pay for it for 6 mos (and longer if people play) Jayne Hero of Canton please call me 443-277-3683 I think we will need help on the back side We will still be ac-kin
Warning reading my posts IS hazardous to your mental health.
Joined: May 2005 Gender: Male Posts: 4,840 Location: Chicago area
Italian alter boy « Result #8 on Sept 15, 2009, 8:12am »
AN ITALIAN BOY'S CONFESSION
'Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl'.
The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano ?'
'Yes, Father, it is.'
'And who was the girl you were with?'
'I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation'.
"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?'
'I cannot say.'
'Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?'
'I'll never tell.'
'Was it Nina Capelli?'
'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.'
'Was it Cathy Piriano?'
'My lips are sealed.'
'Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?'
'Please, Father, I cannot tell you.'
The priest sighs in frustration. 'You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.'
Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, 'What'd you get?'
A lie is a lie...unless your friends and family are in on it. Then it's a "commonly held belief." or so Amy says. "I know nothing. I understand nothing. I am nothing" An old Russian proverb still useful today. Ya ney znayou nechevo. Ya ney ponemayou nechevo. Ya nechevo
The worlds oldest forums troll.
Margaritas ante porcos A bene placito Absit invidia
Legendary_Apu AC Member Clan Camper member is offline
I KiLi YoU
Joined: May 2006 Gender: Male Posts: 405
Re: C.O.D. « Result #11 on Aug 27, 2009, 5:36pm »
well i dont mind playing any other game ill play what ever you guys are playing.....i was just saying you will not have as much fun as CSS on COD 4.....but im down with COD 4.....
The Fudge Dart AC Members Your Damn Right member is offline
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Joined: Oct 2005 Gender: Male Posts: 523
C.O.D. « Result #18 on Aug 20, 2009, 9:03pm »
I have been talking with Amy and call of duty seems to be the hot lick game out there If she wants I will pay for a six month start for us there to see how it goes Comments welcome
A lie is a lie...unless your friends and family are in on it. Then it's a "commonly held belief." or so Amy says. "I know nothing. I understand nothing. I am nothing" An old Russian proverb still useful today. Ya ney znayou nechevo. Ya ney ponemayou nechevo. Ya nechevo
The worlds oldest forums troll.
Margaritas ante porcos A bene placito Absit invidia
A lie is a lie...unless your friends and family are in on it. Then it's a "commonly held belief." or so Amy says. "I know nothing. I understand nothing. I am nothing" An old Russian proverb still useful today. Ya ney znayou nechevo. Ya ney ponemayou nechevo. Ya nechevo
The worlds oldest forums troll.
Margaritas ante porcos A bene placito Absit invidia
A lie is a lie...unless your friends and family are in on it. Then it's a "commonly held belief." or so Amy says. "I know nothing. I understand nothing. I am nothing" An old Russian proverb still useful today. Ya ney znayou nechevo. Ya ney ponemayou nechevo. Ya nechevo
The worlds oldest forums troll.
Margaritas ante porcos A bene placito Absit invidia
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i am saddened! ill check here everyonce inawhile to see if anyone says anything!